Episode 517: #Tashmas Day 8: IWD – The one thing I wish we’d stop saying about women

It’s International Women’s Day, so of course I couldn’t let this episode go by without talking about something super close to my heart.  Today, for IWD, I’m diving into the one thing I really wish we’d stop saying about women. Trust me, it’s more powerful than you might think.

Plus, it’s day 8 of #Tashmas, which means I’ve got a fabulous gift for you at the end—don’t miss it!

Wait… What is #Tashmas?

I do it for both my birthday (1-12 March) and pre-Christmas (1-12 December) every year! Every day from now until my birthday on 12th March, there will be a new daily podcast episode, with a hot tip or practical strategy as per usual… but you ALSO get a gift! I love sharing the birthday vibes, and what better way to do that?! The daily gift could be a freebie, a special offer, a competition… but there will be something for YOU every single day.

Let’s get into it…

EPISODE 517: Listen using the player below, or click the links to your fave platform to subscribe and listen over there:

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The Hidden Narrative: “Women = Drama” (And Why It’s So Problematic)

I want to talk about the belief that if you get a group of women together, it’s going to be dramatic, fraught, or even “horrific.” You know the ones: “A team full of women? Brace yourself.” Or the social posts that say things like, “This is why I don’t have many women friends,” often shared by women themselves. It’s this story that women can’t get along, that we’re always competing—and it’s everywhere.

But where does this idea come from? Spoiler alert: it’s all steeped in patriarchy. When you look at matriarchal societies, this belief just didn’t exist. Women centred on children, life, and community, rather than buying into “divide and conquer.” In patriarchal societies, though, any time women gathered without male supervision, it was seen as dangerous. Why? Because when women support each other—when we educate, inform, and uplift one another—we threaten the system.

Control, Competition, and the Roots of Mistrust

Historically, patriarchy relied on women not trusting one another. That way, we’d turn to the system for approval and safety, making us easier to keep out of power, education, and money. Think about it: women weren’t allowed to be leaders, to work, or even to vote. Once we finally entered the workforce, suddenly there was only “one seat at the table,” so we were set up to compete. We learned to distrust each other because, structurally, that’s what helped keep the system in place.

Even gossip—something often labelled as negative or “ungodly”—was really about women sharing information and keeping each other safe. Shaming women for talking to each other (whether about pay, treatment, or experiences) was just another tactic. If we talked about our salaries, for example, of course we’d notice the pay gap!

Why the Drama Story Stays Alive (And What It Really Costs Us)

These stories get carried on today. We still hear that a room full of women inevitably means drama, that women don’t make good friends, or that we’re too emotional to be leaders or politicians. It all works together to keep us apart. Even I’ve caught myself repeating these ideas. Just a few months ago, a friend mentioned her daughter’s struggles with her friend group at school, and I almost blurted out, “Well, girls will be girls—there’s always some drama at that age.” I stopped myself and realised: this stuff is so ingrained, sometimes we don’t even notice when we’re passing it along.

It’s Not About Gendered Traits, It’s About the Stories We Choose

Yes, young girls and boys both go through hormonal changes. Both have fallouts in their friend groups. But we label these things differently by gender. For boys, it’s seen as just part of growing up. For girls, it’s a reason to say we can’t trust each other. Those labels stick and shape how we see ourselves and each other.

We’re even taught emotional expression differently—girls are encouraged to share, boys to hold it in. That’s shifting, thankfully, but those old beliefs run deep. Honestly? Some of the things I LOVE about my friendships with women are that we talk about feelings, we’re upfront, and we don’t have to bottle anything up. I wish more of my male friends felt that freedom.

My All-Women Team: What Actually Happens

For years, I thought having an all-women team might mean extra “challenges” at work. But actually? It’s been brilliant. My team brings up issues early, they’re honest about how they feel, and they’re never afraid to have difficult conversations. Back in my corporate days, the men on our teams were actually the poor communicators—they didn’t want to talk about problems, so things festered or they’d quietly underperform. Meanwhile, women got labelled as “difficult” simply for being upfront!

Changing the Way We See Ourselves (And Each Other)

The truth is, we’re all taught from a young age to look for evidence that backs up our beliefs. If we think “women in groups means drama,” then we’ll find proof of that… and ignore everything that doesn’t fit. It even affects how we show up—if you walk into a room expecting drama, your behaviour changes, which might actually create the outcome you feared!

A Real Example: The Heart-Centred Business Conference

At my very first Heart-Centred Business Conference, so many attendees told me it felt “healing”—like going on school camp but finally being included. People were anxious beforehand, but what they found was love, connection, and real inclusion. I remember talking to one attendee at lunch. She said it felt “cliquey”—but when I asked if she’d tried introducing herself to new people, she admitted she hadn’t really tried yet! Once she did, her whole experience changed. She came back to me later saying everyone was lovely. It’s such a perfect example of how our expectations shape our reality.

Taking Leadership for Change—On International Women’s Day and Every Day

I want to challenge all of us to be the leader of connection, not just at one event but everywhere. Yes, some events or communities might not feel as inclusive, but that’s an opportunity. Be the person who sets the tone, who reaches out, who challenges the old story.

One of my favourite current trends is seeing women share their small, everyday acts of feminism—like always putting the woman’s name first on a contract, or assuming a doctor is a woman until told otherwise. These tiny acts matter, and we can do the same when it comes to the beliefs we hold about each other.

Your Power Move for International Women’s Day

Here’s what I want us to do. Let’s stop passing on the idea that women in groups can’t get along, that drama is inevitable, that we’re only out to compete. Next time you meet someone new, check your assumptions. Are you expecting the best or looking for evidence of the worst?

When you think back to tough experiences with other women—schoolyard drama, tough work situations, feeling excluded—send some love and healing to your younger self and those other women too. Remember, we’re all navigating systems and stories that didn’t start with us.

Loving each other, supporting each other, and stepping into these spaces expecting the best is an act of defiance. Together, we can completely dissolve this old rumour that we’re inherently difficult, dramatic, or can’t work together. This International Women’s Day, let’s prove the rumours are wrong.

Your Day 8 #Tashmas Gift!

We are going to get you the help you need! Over in the HCSDE group, I’ve put up a #HelpThread with specific instructions on how you can ask for help and offer help to other members of the group.  

It’s International Women’s Day! Let’s be generous towards each other, and turn the tide on some of the most toxic beliefs about women.  

PLUS don’t forget to check out my upcoming events for even deeper connection: tashcorbin.com/events  

And particularly, get your Noosa Conference tickets before Early Bird pricing closes on 13th March: tashcorbin.com/conference

Want a bonus entry in the #Tashmas Prize Draw? Find and comment on the Day 8 #Tashmas post on my page: facebook.com/tashcorbincoaching. 

Until next time, I cannot WAIT to see you SHINE.