In today’s episode, I’m going to answer the big question: what do you do if you want to burn it all down?
I don’t know what’s going on with the moon or with the energy at the moment, but this conversation has come up quite a few times in the last couple of weeks. I thought this was a really brilliant opportunity for us to have a conversation about what to do in this situation and how to get clarity on moving forward.
Here for the links referenced in the show notes?
Slide into my DMs on Facebook or Instagram if you feel ready to burn it all down and need someone to talk to:
Facebook – facebook.com/tashcorbincoaching
Instagram – instagram.com/tashcorbin
Episode 316: Spotlight: Productivity in flow with Stasha Washburn – tashcorbin.com/316
Learn about working with your cycle with Stasha Washburn – theperiodcoach.com
Learn about using your cycle to plan in your business with Tiffany Souhrada – tiffanymariestudio.com
Create a sustainable business working with your flow with Laura Dick – businesswithflow.com
See Stasha Speak at the Heart-Centred Virtual Business Conference – heartcentredbusinessconference.com/virtual
If you’ve been in this situation, or if you’re currently there, you’re going to find this a very helpful episode.
Let’s dive on in…
The first thing I want to say about wanting to burn it all down is that it happens. You’re not alone if you get into that place where you feel like there’s just no rescuing your business. You don’t want to do it, you feel done, and you’re ready to burn it to the ground.
It absolutely happens.
But just because we all experience that at some point, doesn’t mean that the best thing to do is simply ignore it. Ultimately, if you’re having those feelings of wanting to completely throw away your business, completely give up, or just walk away, then it’s telling you something.
We don’t want to ignore it, we do want to listen to that desire.
But that doesn’t mean that the thing you want to do (ie. burn it to the ground) is actually the right decision. It’s telling you that there is something amiss and that something needs to change.
Listen to that feeling and pay attention to it.
In this episode, I’ve got six pieces of advice on how to pay attention to it, what kinds of questions to ask, and how to move forward…
1. Where are you in terms of cycles?
This can relate to:
- Your business cycle
- The time of year
- When you last had a holiday
- Cycles of your mood
- The seasons
But it also relates really strongly to your menstrual cycle.
Do you really want to burn your business down? Or are you just in deep luteal right now and you want to burn everything down?
I think it’s important for us to pay attention to that because that time in our menstrual cycle (or in the moon cycle) is actually a time for questioning everything. It is a time for that deep consideration of what you want to keep and what you want to let go of.
Hormonally, it makes sense that it strikes up those feelings in us.
Again, even if you are in that deep luteal stage of your cycle, it’s nearing the end of the year and you’re tired, or winter is beginning, that doesn’t mean you ignore whatever is coming up for you.
Even if there’s some cycle that explains why you’re having those thoughts and feelings, I still want you to pay attention to them.
If you are interested in understanding how the menstrual cycle in particular relates to business, I’ve got some great recommendations and resources for you:
- Episode 316: Spotlight: Productivity in flow with Stasha Washburn – tashcorbin.com/316
- Stasha Washburn – theperiodcoach.com
- Tiffany Souhrada – tiffanymariestudio.com
- Laura Dick – businesswithflow.com
Stasha is actually a speaker at the Heart-Centred Virtual Business Conference. She runs the Period Coaching School and has people who’ve done that school who specialise in different things, so she’s definitely someone to keep an eye out for and to follow if you’re curious about how all of that relates.
Now that we’re clear about where we’re at in the cycle (which can give rise to understanding why maybe it’s a little louder than normal)…
2. Explore the details of why
Journal out the details of what you’re feeling.
Why is it that I’m not satisfied right now? Why is it that I feel like my only option is to just walk away?
Do some journaling, go for a walk, talk to a biz friend, or talk to your mentor. Just get it out.
Don’t just get it out from a big-picture perspective. Get down into the detail, because it’s the detail that usually gives us insight into what specifically is going on and what needs your attention at that point in time.
Is it that you feel like you’re yelling into the void and no one’s listening to you? Is it that you feel like it’s too hard to find good help, and you just can’t get things working with your team? Or is it that you’ve had a refund request and you feel like there’s no point doing this in the first place?
Why do you feel like you want to burn it all down and let it all go?
Get into some real specifics.
Even when you’re journaling, look at how you’re feeling from multiple angles. Consider it from a:
- Time perspective
- Energy perspective
- Strategy perspective
- Reach and marketing perspective
- Excitement and creativity perspective
Look at it from multiple angles and look for as much detail as you can.
Sometimes when we’re in that mindset of feeling like it’s just done, it’s because we haven’t actually focused on the detail. The problem is quite solvable when we get down to the details.
3. Review your numbers and look for evidence on both sides
Let’s say you’re struggling to outsource effectively. You feel like it’s impossible to get good help and your team sucks.
Look for evidence that there are problems with your team, and look for evidence that things are working and that you are actually making progress.
Similarly, look for evidence that people are engaging with your content and that you’re not yelling into the void, and look for evidence that things don’t seem to get any resonance.
Look for evidence on both sides and review your numbers for evidence on both sides of the equation.
What we look for is what we find.
If you’re in the mindset that everything’s terrible and nothing’s working, then you’ll collect evidence that everything’s terrible and nothing is working.
If you actively go and pursue evidence to the contrary, you will, in most cases, be able to find that evidence.
It allows you to create more balance and more perspective on the situation.
4. Look for solutions
Ask questions such as: Can I make this any better? How could I fix this? Can I make it easier? Is this actually important?
We’re starting to look for solutions. That solution might be that it’s time to let this go. Or it might be that it’s time to let a certain part of your business go.
Maybe it’s that you need to get someone to help you hire a team member. Or maybe it’s that you need to focus more specifically on one platform when it comes to creating engagement and reach.
You can get into some detail about how you can make your business easier and better.
Look for ways that you can strategically intervene so that you are resolving the specifics. The reason that you want to burn it down is not because of those minor specifics, it’s the accumulative effect of all those things.
If we can start taking some of those off your plate and make it feel like less of a load, you may not feel that same way about burning it all down.
Look for those opportunities to make business easier.
Sometimes it’s just about the time. Maybe you feel like you’re putting all your time into it, but you’re not really getting much in return.
Start boundarying up your time then!
In most cases, more time doesn’t equal more results. Consider the Pareto Principle (20% of what you do gets 80% of your results) and Parkinson’s Law (a project will expand to take up the time that you allocate to it).
If it’s taking you four hours to write the newsletter for your mailing list every week, then set a timer for 30 minutes and create an email that’s good enough.
Boundary up that time a little more, so that you can see how doable it is in a limited amount of time. You can get 80% of the way there in that half hour so let’s just do it that way.
It’s really powerful to find those ways to make life and business easier for yourself and get better results.
A lot of the time, the reason why you can’t see how to do that is because you don’t have the mentorship, support, or appropriate inputs into your business.
If that’s the case, it’s going to be really challenging for you to be able to solve it on your own.
What got you here is not going to get you there.
If you need to talk it out, then that would be tip number five…
5. Fnd someone who can support you
Sometimes it’s enough to talk to a biz bestie. Sometimes it’s enough to talk to your partner.
I find that a lot of people who talk to their partner or family, tend to receive the comfortable answer. Those people want you to stay safe. Their number one priority is your comfort and safety. So they’ll give you safe advice.
But often the answer that’s going to get you to your goal is not the safe comfortable answer. It’s actually the uncomfortable answer.
Sometimes I find if that person is a little too close to you then they will try and get you to take the safest option.
I was having a conversation with some students in the Take Off program last week, and we were discussing that if you ever complain to your partner about your business, they’ll often suggest that you go get a job again. This is because they just want you to be in that space of safety.
That’s not the answer that you want to hear, and you know that you don’t want them to tell you that.
That tells you that that’s not the person to have a conversation with at that point in time.
It may be that you need to work with a mindset practitioner or hire a business mentor (I’m here if you need!).
It might be that you need to jump on a call with a biz bestie and talk it out.
You may even need to just type it out! Have a Messenger chat with someone.
Sometimes I will write something to my bestie or my team, and simply the act of typing it out and extroverting it will be enough for me. I won’t even click send because I’ll realise through writing it out that I know what’s going on and I can get on with my day.
All I needed to do was think about someone else hearing it at the other end and how would I explain it to them, and all of a sudden, everything was made clear.
Find spaces and people with whom you can talk it out, get that feedback, and break it down into something that’s a little more manageable.
One of the things that we do inside the Take Off program and Leverage and Launch, is we have our hotseat mentoring calls.
A lot of those mentorship calls aren’t about the details of what’s being taught. That stuff is all taken care of in the program and the Facebook group.
The hotseat mentoring is generally for the big emotional mindset stuff. It’s for the complex things that you need to talk through.
If you don’t have that space or that opportunity to talk it out, then make that a priority to find. Connect with people who will be able to help you through that process.
6. Trust yourself
Deep within, you know what needs to happen. You know whether this is a hormonal thing or a genuine need for more spaciousness in your life. You know whether this is a need for you to work harder and just get through it, or a need for you to take a step back and take a deep breath.
Ultimately, even in having a conversation with someone else (and I can say this for myself as a mentor to others), most of our resolutions that come in those tough times come from just asking the right questions.
It’s not me having an opinion about whether someone should stick with it or not. That’s not what it comes down to.
It’s really about listening to yourself.
You are feeling this way for a reason.
Your feelings are valid. They deserve to be heard. And they deserve to be acknowledged and actioned.
If that means you need to put less time into your business right now, then honour yourself and trust that that’s what you need.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you just need to be hungrier, wake up earlier, or push harder, when everything in your body is telling you that you need to take a step back.
You are allowed to take a step back. It will still be here when you come back if you want to.
Ultimately, you know what is needed in order for you to be able to move forward.
Please just trust and listen to yourself.
I know that as entrepreneurs (especially for women and non-binary folk), we are told over and over again that we’re wrong or we don’t know what we want.
We are gaslit and it puts us into a state of not trusting ourselves. It can take time and practice to learn to listen to yourself, your intuition and your deep desires.
I don’t mean to keep harping on about Take Off calls, but we had a call a couple of months ago where I was asking someone what they actually wanted. She just looked back at me really blankly. I was concerned that I had dropped out or something, but she was just so stunned because she realised that no one had asked her what she wanted for the last 18 years. That was a really confronting thing for her to realise.
Sometimes it just takes that practice of asking yourself what you want and having people help prompt you to understand what’s going on inside and what it is that you deeply desire.
Trust yourself. We are all here for you.
They are my six tips if you want to burn it all down.
I would also love to extend a little invitation to you…
If you are feeling that way or ever feel that way – whether it’s now when the podcast comes out, or in a year’s time – please know that my DMs are open for you.
You are always welcome to slide into my direct messages on Facebook or Instagram and say “Tash, I just needed to reach out and tell someone that I feel like I need to burn my whole business down. What’s going on?”
I can point you in the direction of some resources that might be able to help. I also might have some good questions that you can have a think about.
I’m always here for you because I know how important it is to know that there’s at least someone you can go to.
If you don’t have someone that you can talk to who will truly understand what you’re going through, then please do slide into my DMs on Facebook or Instagram, and we can have a chat about it there.
Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of the Heart-Centred Business Podcast.
Until next time, I cannot WAIT to see you SHINE.
