In today’s episode, we’re going to discuss the five signs that you are holding yourself back.
These are going to be a little bit out of left field in some cases. I wanted to look for some of those signs where maybe you think there’s a good reason for that behaviour, but it actually could also be a sign that you’re holding yourself back.
If you are feeling like no matter what you try or no matter what you do at the moment, things just aren’t necessarily working or clicking, then this is going to be a really juicy episode for you.
Let’s dive on in!
Before we begin today’s episode, I want to say that you (my audience) are very self-aware. You’re also very good at taking responsibility for your behaviour in your business.
I love working with the audience that I work with, because those people who are naturally drawn to my work and who seem to be part of our community, are people who do have quite a lot of self-awareness about how their mindset and how their behaviours impact on their outcome.
I don’t see a lot of blaming in my audience (ie. blaming the system, world, marketing, etc.).
There’s a lot of curiosity that I see, and a lot of people asking really great questions.
The difference between a question that’s not helpful and a question that is helpful, from my perspective, is when the question goes from being: ‘Will I or won’t I?’ to ‘How can I?’
A lot of people come to me and they’re not just asking me why their business doesn’t work, they’re saying exactly what they’ve done that isn’t working, what ideas they have of things to do instead, and then they go for it.
They just keep trying to find out how they can get things to work.
The question isn’t about whether you’ll have a business or not, the question is HOW do you get the business to work? How do you get your marketing to work? How do you jump in and get the right followers?
I love that about this audience. That’s why I don’t want this particular episode of the podcast to feel like it’s condescending or telling you that the problem is your mindset and everything else is going to be totally fine.
Ultimately, I believe it takes a great combination of mindset and energetic practices that will help support you to move forward through this epic personal development journey that is starting a business, as well as some really powerful strategies that are aligned, driven by consent, and that feel like they are connecting with and converting the right people into your paying clients.
I know that there’s a combination of mindset and strategy going on here.
That being said, I can also see for some people where we might get fixated that the problem is the strategy, but actually, from an external perspective, I can see people are also making decisions that are holding them back from actually thriving.
That’s what I want this episode to be about – looking for those clues, that maybe it’s not just a strategy issue, maybe there’s also a little bit of a mindset thing showing up here. Or looking at what actions and behaviours could give you a clue that maybe you’re holding yourself back, and there’s something further to explore. It’s not just a strategy issue.
They are the five signs that I’m focused on today. Let’s dive into those.
1. You’re second guessing your strategy
There are so many people who come to me and say how they’ve tried doing a webinar once and it didn’t work for them so they’re not going to do that again. Or how they tried Instagram, but it didn’t work for them so they aren’t going to try again.
They’re constantly changing their strategy, and they’re constantly second guessing whether that strategy is the right fit for them or not.
They’re very quick to say a strategy doesn’t work for them.
In most cases, I can get any strategy to work with any person – it’s just a matter of getting that strategy to work for you.
Again, it’s not about whether you should or shouldn’t do webinars, it’s about HOW you can make webinars work for you because you love showing up and being in the teaching space in your business, so you want to be in the teaching space in your marketing as well.
That’s a very different way of looking at it.
If you find yourself jumping from strategy to strategy, if you find yourself trying something but not really nailing it so then you decide that it simply will never work for you, then that can actually be a sign that you’re holding yourself back.
For a lot of people, when you find a strategy that works really well, the default position is to look at what’s next, rather than looking at how you can double down on it.
That’s the question we should be asking.
If you’ve found a strategy that works, your number one job is to dial up that strategy, not go and add something else to the mix. You already found something that works! You don’t need to go onto something else.
Often, the reason why we think we need to jump to another strategy is actually because we’re holding ourselves back. There’s this fear, whether it’s conscious or subconscious, that maybe it’s too easy, maybe it needs to be a little harder in order for it to be worthwhile, and in order for us to deserve the money that we’re making. We feel we need to be working hard, so we go and find other things to do.
If you find you’re consistently second guessing your strategy and you haven’t even seen it through yet, then that can definitely be a sign that you’re holding yourself back.
2. Comparison-itis
Even though you’ve had an amazing launch or you’ve just made three VIP sales this month, it’s not the five VIP sales that that other person in the program that you’re in made, so therefore, you must be doing something wrong.
Getting into that space of comparison and comparing your beginning with someone else’s end, or even your six months in to someone else’s six months in when they had completely different circumstances when starting their business, is actually a sign that you are looking for external validation.
That comparison-itis can often be a sign that you’re holding yourself back.
Your measure of success is determined by the success of those around you, or you can never be as successful as you want to be because you’re constantly chasing someone else’s outcomes or someone else’s life.
It can be a sign that you’re holding yourself back if you’re consistently looking outward for:
- Reassurance
- Inspiration and motivation
- Signs that you’ve made it by some other person’s measuring stick
Imagine instead of looking at everyone else’s results and successes and feeling like you have to chase them down, instead, everyday feeling like you’re really proud of what you’ve achieved and you know how to move forward.
That is true alignment.
That is true strategic direction, based on what’s right for you.
Letting go of comparison-itis can often see you excel more, because you’re focused on what works for you – you’re focused on what you want to achieve right now.
When I get myself into comparison-itis, it sends me down the rabbit hole of what I’m not doing.
That comparison-itis ultimately slows down my momentum in my business.
I know for myself that when I really just focus down on the strategies that I know work, doubling down on those, seeing them through to completion and nailing them, that’s when my business thrives. That’s when my results absolutely skyrocket.
It’s also when I feel really uncomfortable because I’m achieving new levels of success, and I’m being seen and am visible in new ways. All of those things drive me to go and look at what everyone else is doing because I feel unsafe.
It feels like it’s so counterintuitive, because you would think that having things to aspire to and inspiration would drive that motivation, drive the right behaviours and would drive you to achieving new levels, but in most cases, it doesn’t because someone else’s strategy is not your strategy. Someone else’s journey is not your journey.
Someone else’s results are not the results that you need to be focused on.
Comparison-itis and consistently looking to others can be a big sign that you are actually holding yourself back.
Something’s happened and you’ve decided you need to go and look elsewhere.
It’s a good one to look out for (I told you these are a little out of left field, aren’t they?!?).
3. Consistent permission-seeking
I am here for you if you need permission to do something. I do it all the time inside the Take Off program – I hereby give you permission to go and start your own YouTube channel. Off you go!
I’m totally here for you and I can give you permission for whatever it is that you need to do.
I know that sometimes just getting that permission slip from someone else is enough, and it drives you on and you’re totally fine. But if you’re consistently permission-seeking from outside sources – for example, you won’t do anything in your business until you’ve run it past your mentor, or you don’t take any action until you’ve double-checked that six other people are doing it exactly the same way, and so therefore, you’re allowed to do it – that can be a sign that you’re holding yourself back.
You’re not trusting yourself.
You’re not acting in that space of alignment and following the inspiration when it strikes.
Permission-seeking can be a big one where you feel like someone else needs to let you know that you’re allowed to do that, or that that’s okay for you to move forward in.
Don’t be afraid to make some mistakes.
I’ve had people come to me and they say how they should have run something by me first because they tried it and it didn’t work so they feel like they’re back to square one.
But that’s not what I want them to do.
I don’t want you to teach yourself that you have to ask me permission to do anything. If you had an idea, got inspired, took action and ran with it, I want you to give yourself a massive pat on the back.
Let’s look at the positives of that experience.
There’s always positives, even if it doesn’t work out.
You’ve learned that that strategy is not something that’s going to work for your audience. Or you’ve learned that there’s way too much time and energy that goes into that for the results that you got out of it.
It’s great – we can cross that off your list as not being something you want to do from here on in.
Or maybe you’ve discovered that you didn’t have the audience levels to be able to go and launch a group program just yet. Great! What an amazing lesson to learn, now let’s double down on your VIP one-to-one stuff.
You don’t need to seek permission on anything.
If you feel inspired to try something, go and try it. If you’ve got that intuitive nudge that something needs to change, go and change it. Have a play. As long as you’re reviewing the decisions through the lens of love, measuring and seeing what the impact is, and making consistent decisions moving forward, you’re always going to be moving forward. You’re always going to be going in the right direction.
Even if you spring off in the wrong direction and it brings you back to the right direction, it has done its job.
I see people all the time that don’t want to make mistakes in their business. If you start a business with the goal of never making mistakes, you’re going to fail.
Your job is to make mistakes, learn from them and move forward as quickly as possible.
Get out there, make some mistakes, and try some things.
You will stumble across and find amazing positive outcomes. Some things you’ll go off and try and they will absolutely work and your business will thrive. Brilliant!
You don’t always need to seek permission.
If you’re consistently finding yourself needing permission, that can be a sign that you’re really holding yourself back and telling yourself that you’re only allowed to do things if you’re told that it’s okay – you’re only allowed to play with an idea if someone else says you can.
Regardless of whether that person is me or someone else, I would much rather see you embrace this journey of following your intuition and following inspiration where it strikes, but also being willing to see the lesson in that inspiration, even if it does work out or even if it doesn’t.
If you find yourself consistently permission-seeking, that can be a sign that you’re holding yourself back, and you might want to be your own permission slip for a little while and see how that feels.
4. Not showing up
This is a big one.
If you find yourself resisting showing up online by resisting, emailing your list, following up with people or showing up in your spaces, that can absolutely be a sign that you’re holding yourself back.
This often comes down to a sense of perfectionism.
Progress or perfection toggle switch – holding yourself back from success
Holding yourself back by saying that you’re not going to:
- Do Facebook Lives until you’ve got the perfect backdrop
- Run a webinar until you’re 100% sure that your offer is going to sell
- Commit to sending emails consistently until you’ve got 1000 people on your mailing list
Actually, you would be better off just showing up as you are right now, knowing that you’re going to refine and whittle things down and get a little closer to the right strategy for you or the right messaging later.
Know that the process of showing up and speaking is also part of that refinement process.
I talk about this in the Take Off program all the time. People say that they need to get their messaging ecosystem all complete before they go and show up online.
No – go and show up online as you refine your messaging ecosystem.
As we know, no great message was built in theory.
No great offer was built in theory, no great product was built in theory, no great business was built in theory.
Go and show up, and if you’re in resistance to showing up at any point in your business, it is a sign that you’re holding yourself back. There’s something we need to address in there so that you can feel confident and comfortable in showing up more consistently.
5. Negative self-talk
It’s not just negative self-talk as in talking about yourself, but talking to yourself negatively about what it is that you’re doing as well.
If you find yourself consistently thinking about how you’re marketing is so hard, you are programming yourself to believe that marketing is so hard, and that can actually really hold you back.
If you’re constantly criticising yourself about doing a video that was terrible, not introducing yourself properly at a networking event, or not sending that email that you needed to send last week, that is absolutely holding you back.
All in all, if you’re constantly looking for and speaking about how hard things are, then guess what you’re going to snowball? That feeling of things being hard.
Even when you find yourself following someone or you’re learning about growing your business, if your gut reaction every time you learn something is about how horrible it’s going to be, then guess what your experience is going to be.
I’m not someone who’s all for just ignoring your feelings and pretending everything’s okay.
I think that we do want to make sure we’re paying attention to how we feel about our business, how we feel about our strategy and how we feel about our marketing, but we want to do that through the lens of doing it so that we can feel more aligned, not just so that we can consistently whinge about marketing and how hard it is.
If you’re finding yourself consistently thinking about how hard marketing and sales are, get a pattern interrupt and make a different choice.
My marketing and sales are feeling really hard for me right now, how do I make it feel easier? How do I make it work more effectively without me feeling this way?
Become solutions-focus instead of problem-focused.
That’s how we shift it.
It can be a sign that you’re holding yourself back if you’re finding yourself consistently talking negatively about:
- Your business
- Your marketing
- What it is that you need to do
- Your actions
- Yourself
- Your audience and clients
- People who say no in sales calls
It’s something you want to choose to address and choose to change.
The big lesson from this podcast episode is that you get to choose.
You get to choose. If you notice these behaviours, you get to choose to identify how you’re holding yourself back, and what you’re going to do about it. Or you get to choose to just gloss it over – wallpaper over those cracks and keep moving forward.
There’s a time for both.
What I would love to do for this episode of the Heart-Centred Business Podcast, is talk to you about how I can support you not just with your strategy, but also in some of these mindset areas where you are holding yourself back. I want you to not only notice those times where you’re holding yourself back, but also address it and move forward with a strong mindset and with a great strategy.
One of the ways that I do this in tandem is through my Udemy course.
It’s called the 30-Day Business Blast.
That program is a 30-day program where we bring together powerful mindset and energetic techniques with great marketing strategies to grow your business and go for a stretch income goal.
It is all about that process of implementation. As I said, no great business was built on theory.
You don’t move out of this mindset of holding yourself back by just thinking about it and thinking about changing.
You also need to take action.
What I love about this program is that we are shifting your beliefs about yourself, your business, money and all sorts of things through taking powerful strategic action in your business, coupled with epic mindset and energetic practices.
Maybe there are some things that have come up for you that you want to think about where maybe you’re holding yourself back.
You know the best way to clear a limiting belief or to change a behaviour is to first and foremost notice it, and that’s what we’ve done in this episode.
From here, you then get to choose whether you want to address it or not, and how you’re going to address it.
If you’d like my support with moving through, I highly recommend this 30-day program.
No matter when you’re reading this episode of the podcast, THIS LINK will always take you to the best available price for that program.
The beautiful thing about the 30-Day Business Blast is that once you’ve bought it once, you can do it over and over again. We have people who go through the program every second month just to really bring themselves up to a new level and a new ability to receive by expanding their capacity to receive as well as really nailing their marketing strategies in their business.
Go and check it out at tashcorbin.com/udemy
Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of the Heart-Centred Business Podcast.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts about this episode and any follow-up questions you might have. Come on over to our beautiful Facebook community, Heart-Centred Soul-Driven Entrepreneurs, use #podcastaha, let me know that you’ve been reading episode number 268 and let’s continue the conversation there.
Until next time, I cannot WAIT to see you SHINE.
