Today we have a special Q&A episode for you, with a fabulous question from Anita Bronwyn Toi. Her question is in relation to social media for introverts, so if you would like some tips on how to navigate social media – even if you are very introverted and might find it a little bit draining – then this is going to be a great episode for you.

Here for the links referenced in the show notes? 

Episode 210: Is it really easier for extroverts to succeed at online business?

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This is a very special episode of the Heart-Centred Business Podcast because this is our first episode in our twice-weekly podcast.

In the second podcast of each week, we are going to be alternating between Q&A’s (questions that you have submitted) and Spotlight Series episodes where we put another entrepreneur in the spotlight with a special interview.

Let’s jump in!

Our question comes from the fabulous Anita Bronwyn Toi who you can find at

Here’s Anita’s question:

“Hi Tash, I’m an avid listener to your podcast but I don’t enjoy hanging out in big groups on Facebook. I have no desire to have my own Facebook group either, yet I know both are proven ways to grow and connect with your audience.

The thing is, I prefer 1:1 connections and small groups. I don’t feel like its a fear of being visible. It’s simply knowing that interacting in large groups, whether in person or online, drains me more than it energises.

I also prefer to limit my time on social media in general, as I find I’m much happier and calmer that way.

Do you have any suggestions for sensitive introverts like me who want to share their gifts and reach the right people, but in a way that feels aligned and supportive? Thank you!”

To you Anita, I will say a big thank you as well, because this is a very common question that I get asked. So much so that I actually already have another podcast episode in which I specifically talk about growing a business and social media for introverts versus extroverts.

It’s episode number 210, so you’ll be able to go along and read that previous episode of the Heart-Centred Business Podcast as well.

For today’s Q&A episode, I thought what I would do is give you five little things that you might be able to work with to help you decide what your best strategy is moving forward. I’ll also show you how you can navigate social media, even if you don’t love being in large groups or facilitating large groups.

1. What part of that process actually drains you?

Engaging in Facebook groups on social media has lots and lots of different components.

There is the energy of being in a group for hours and hours on end each day, which of course, you’re going to find quite draining if you’re just sitting in that energy of a lot of people. But there are lots of different parts about being in a Facebook community.

I know for myself, even facilitating the Heart-centred, soul-driven entrepreneurs Facebook group with 34,000 people, these days, I spend about 15 to 20 minutes a day in the group, and that’s it.

The activities that I am doing in that community are commenting on people’s posts and cheering them on – that’s a one-to-one interaction with individuals – and sharing my posts for the community.

For me, that is actually not necessarily needing to hold space for 34,000 people and needing to be in the energy of 34,000 people at one time.

Really focus in on what it is about being in the groups that specifically drains you.

You might find that the reason being in large groups particularly drains you is because you think that there are certain things you need to do to be successful in those groups.

That’s actually not true.

Those aren’t the actions that you need to be in there doing.

The other thing is with starting your own Facebook community, you don’t need to be doing it all on your own. I don’t do the administration of my Facebook group anymore, I have a team to do that for me.

It may be that holding off on having a Facebook group until you’ve got the capacity to have a team helping you with it is the right step for you.

I know lots of people who facilitate large groups as very highly sensitive people and introverts, and they use a combination of having really strong boundaries, spending limited time in those communities and also having team members to help them navigate that.

I would say that every single marketing strategy and every single option for social media has pieces that favour introverts versus pieces that favour extroverts. You just need to get really clear on what piece of it drains you, and how you may be able to:

  • Not do that part
  • Find the strategies that work for you that you don’t find particularly draining
  • Outsource parts of that strategy

2. Is social media the problem? Or is your strategy just not working?

If I paid you $10,000 a day to spend 30 minutes in a Facebook group each day, would you still find that activity draining?

The reason why I ask this question is that when we get down to brass tacks when it comes to any social media strategy, it can be very easy to say that it’s the strategy that drains you.

But for a lot of people, it’s the strategy and continuously feeling like the strategy isn’t working, that actually drains you.

It’s a little bit of a tough-love kind of question, but I think that it’s an important one. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I just said that the internet doesn’t work for introverts so they should just run away and not worry about it. There is so much opportunity that is available to us with social media and the free platforms that we can access.

For a lot of people, the reason why it’s draining is that it’s not working.

If it was working, you would actually be energised by that, and therefore, you wouldn’t be linking it to introversion versus extroversion.

Let’s not forget, the internet was created BY introverts FOR introverts.

social media tips for introverts start-up

The second of my social media tips for introverts is to look at your strategy.

I don’t know anything more introverted than being able to sit on your own in your home with your own energy, your own boundaries, with complete control over when you show up and when you don’t show up, and with complete control over who you see posts from and who you don’t see posts from.

I really find it interesting that so many introverts find social media draining or find online business draining, when if we’re really honest, it’s one of the group experiences in which you have the most control over your boundaries and whose energy you let in and how much time you invest in that particular experience.

The question of if I paid you $10,000 a day to do 30 minutes of it, would you find it draining is a real valid question. If you were making great money from this strategy and it was working really easily for you, I would challenge that perhaps you wouldn’t find it so draining.

The question then is: How do you make it work in the strategies that really feel like they’re aligned for you? Instead of just saying that being on Facebook or being in Facebook groups doesn’t work for you because you’re an introvert.

3. Don’t be afraid to invite the party back to your place where you can have more control

If you don’t love being in Facebook communities or you don’t love being on social media, why not use strategies such as:

  • Using automated scheduled posts
  • Using other platforms, ie. Instagram, your page, paid Facebook ads
  • Invite people onto your mailing list and have that as an intimate conversation

For me, there’s very little difference between writing an email to my mailing list and writing a post in my Facebook group that goes to largely the same group of people, but I understand for some people, they attach more energetic pressure on being in that group environment.

Bring the party back to your place where you do feel like it is a more intimate gathering or it’s a more intimate group of people.

Then just be really mindful of nurturing that audience.

For many people, the reason why they find large scale strategies so difficult and draining is not that it’s hard to get reach these days.

It’s actually because they’re so focused on reach and so NOT focused on nurturing and conversion, that in order to get a baseline level of sales that feel sustainable, you have to be active, doing so much and reaching so many people.

If you are getting 10 people signing up to your mailing list each week, those 10 people should be treated as though they have walked into the most glamorous VIP event.

They should be getting connection with you and an opportunity to really have a conversation with you.

If you’re an introvert, you’re going to totally nail those one-to-one interactions.

Yet when I speak to most people about the strategies that they’re using on social media and online, they’re using these high reach, low touch, low conversion strategies that require them being in a space with hundreds and hundreds of people just to make one sale.

When I first started my business, I was in other people’s Facebook groups, and there was one group in particular where I was very well known.

I was doing 20 minutes a day in that Facebook group, and in that 20 minutes, I would do my posts for the day and I would look for three people whose questions I could answer. Then I’d do a bunch of liking and cheering people on with any time that was leftover.

In that time, I was getting five or six people every single day either reaching out to me on Messenger or signing up to my mailing list, and I sent a private personal reply to every single one of those people.

What that meant was, with a mailing list of only 150 people, I was still getting three to four sales conversations every single week.

It’s not about needing ginormous reach, it’s about being really mindful of how you nurture the relationship you have with the people you are reaching.

Bring the party back to your place, be an epic party host, and then you don’t need to worry about going and pilfering everyone else’s parties.

You can have an amazing, nurtured, curated space, and have an intimate conversation with people and not need to be in those groups every single day for five hours.

4. Build YOUR strategy to YOUR strengths

I think this ties all of this together really beautifully.

Don’t jump straight to the reason that it’s not working for you because you’re an introvert if something isn’t getting the traction that you were hoping to get.

Give it the time and energy that it deserves.

Give it nurturing, tailor your experience and your strategy on that platform, and give it the time that it takes to get a little bit of traction.

Instead of asking: Does being in Facebook groups work for me or not work for me? Ask the question: How can I make a Facebook group strategy that really works for my natural strengths, sensitivities and my introversion?

In that instance, you’re going to be able to look for this solution instead of focusing on the problem.

You can build your marketing strategy to your strengths instead of trying to build it to someone else’s specifications or suggestions.

5. Work with an introvert specialist

There are business coaches and strategists out there who specialise in supporting highly sensitive people or introverts with their social media and their online marketing strategy.

If these suggestions and these ideas alone aren’t enough for you to feel like you can find a social media or Facebook strategy that really works for you, then I would highly recommend that you find someone who specialises in working with people just like you.

Most of them have been there themselves and have grown their businesses with their introversion, and built it to their strengths as an introvert.

Don’t be afraid to hire the support that you need to create that specialised unique strategy that’s really going to work to your strengths.

I hope that’s answered your question, Anita.

For all the other beautiful introverts out there, I know it seems really weird an extrovert giving you advice as an introvert, but I have worked with thousands and thousands of women over the years, the majority of whom are introverts.

We’re always able to find a solution that works out to be tailored to the strengths of the individual because there are parts of every strategy that favour introverts and there are parts of every strategy that favour extroverts.

It’s just about creating that unique strategy that really works for you.

I highly recommend you go check out this episode of the podcast: Episode 210: Is it really easier for extroverts to succeed at online business?

If you’ve got a question that you’d like me to answer here on the Heart-Centred Business Podcast, simply GO HERE, pop your question in, make sure you give me all the details of how we can give you a shout out and answer your question here on the podcast.

If reach and conversion are areas you’d like to focus more on, and you do a lot of selling on Facebook (or if you’d like to), I actually have a free resource for you.

It’s my $0 Facebook Marketing Plan.

This is a free training that helps you to make more money from Facebook by getting better rates and better conversion.

Until next time, I cannot WAIT to see you SHINE.