Episode 432: What to do when something horrible happens in business – #tashmas DAY 2

Has something horrible happened that really derailed your momentum? I’ve got an entire episode about what to do when something horrible happens in business.

And it’s Day 2 of the #Tashmas series, which means I have a gift for you!

But first: What is #Tashmas?

I do it for both my birthday (1-12 March) and pre-Christmas (1-12 December) every year! You get a daily podcast episode, with a hot tip or practical strategy as per usual… but you ALSO get a present every day! It could be a freebie, a special offer, a competition… something fun every single day.

Today, let’s explore what to do when something horrible happens in your business. It sounds intense, but don’t stress; I’ve got your back with some down-to-earth strategies and resources you’ll love.

Ready? Let’s do it!

EPISODE 432: Listen using the player below, or click the links to your fave platform to subscribe and listen over there:

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Worrying about something horrible happening

If you’ve only been in business for a short amount of time, you may have some fears about what might go wrong as a business owner. Regardless of how long you’ve been in business, I think we all still have some fears about some of the bad things that might happen to us as business owners. Some of those things may have already happened in the past, so we’re afraid of them happening again. But in a lot of cases, those things haven’t happened to us yet, so we can catastrophise what might happen, and how it might feel.

I therefore have put together five things that you can do when something horrible happens in your business.

1. Get some perspective

I think when we are deep in our business and when our business is our livelihood, it’s also wrapped up in our identity. We can lose perspective about what’s important and what is happening. So I think it’s really powerful to just gain some perspective about what this means in the grand scheme of things.

Let’s say you make a mistake with a client. Whether that means you have to redo some of the work you did for them, they ask for a discount, or a refund, or they don’t want to work with you anymore… In 10 years’ time, when you look back at this mistake, will you still have anxiety about it? In most cases, the answer would be no. In most cases, you will be grateful for what you can learn from making that mistake. You can learn how to not make it in the future, and you’ll move on. Things that feel like they’re big and hard and life-altering and horrendous now, will just be like water off a duck’s back in five years’ time. What feels really hard today won’t feel so hard three months from now.

To get perspective, I remind myself to look back at what I have already faced, that felt like this at the time. I remind myself that those things weren’t a big deal overall. I also recognise that I need to experience these challenges and setbacks, so I don’t make the same mistakes again.

Remember to focus on your own audience as well.

When things go sour, remember that at the core of your business, your focus is on your own audience. Instead of stressing over those who might try to replicate or copy your work, focus on serving your ideal clients. These are the ones who truly need and appreciate your offerings and are likely to become paying customers. They are there to support your growth and success.

2. Lean into biz besties

Having a solid support network of fellow entrepreneurs—or your “biz besties”—is game-changing. These are the people you can lean on when things get tough, way more helpful than family members who might not fully understand the ins and outs of your business journey. From personal experience, sharing stories and advice with biz friends has kept me grounded and encouraged. There’s nothing like having someone who “gets it” on speed dial.

These support networks provide not just companionship but that shared understanding that only fellow biz owners can truly offer. I’ve seen firsthand how much strength and reassurance comes from having those connections.

I have a specific story from the early days of my business. I worked with a virtual assistant (VA) who was very critical, causing me a world of stress over minor mistakes. She kept telling me that I was coming across as unprofessional because of a spelling error here, or a missing link in an email there. But guess what? My biz besties helped me to see that it wasn’t a big deal. And in fact, I needed to remove that kind of anxiety and stress from my business. Being a stickler for the details will completely stifle my desire to show up and serve. I’d rather share something imperfect consistently, than let perfectionism dry up the well of content and creativity (and I am pretty sure my podcast listeners would agree!)

The challenge of venting to your partner

On this same topic, I also want to share why I am very mindful about what I turn to my partner for help with, versus what I will share with biz besties. It can be so challenging if you vent to your partner when things go wrong. Often, they’ll just want to fix it for you or step into the role of manager of your business. That’s not helpful either. My partner David and I have a pretty good system these days.

In the past, if I went to him with a problem, or something had gone wrong, his immediate response was to ask who in the team needed to be fired. He was in fix-it mode, and his solution to everything was to fire the responsible person (which was particularly challenging when the problem was me).

The people who love you want you to be safe

But that’s just his default response when anyone brings up a problem. He would want to fix it for me – and his solution was to fire someone, or take over. I noticed this pattern very early in my business, and I realised that if I was going to share a challenge, I needed to start by saying: “I don’t need you to fix this. I just need to have a whinge about this.” Ultimately, I think it’s far healthier to reach out to my biz besties with a quick DM anyway, but it’s a great strategy to ensure he doesn’t dive into trying to give me advice.

I think other business owners just don’t try and dive in and fix things for you. When my friends come to me, I don’t dive in until I’m sure of what they need from me in that moment. Perhaps because of all the personal development we do as business owners, we have better boundaries like that. (I also think it can be a programmed response for men in particular to see themselves as rescuers, and marginalised people are more likely to ensure their opinion or advice is wanted before offering it. We get shut down often enough to know not to put the effort in until we know it’s wanted.)

If you’re not already part of networking groups, masterminds, or online courses, I urge you to dive in. Not only are they incredible for growth and learning, they help build those long-lasting biz bestie connections. When the going gets tough, having that community around you can transform a daunting situation into a manageable one. Come along to conference if you’re looking to make new friends!! (Shameless little plug there.)

3. Focus on the good

For every horrible thing that’s happened in my business, I’ve been able to find some good in it. Even when, earlier this year at the VIP implementation day at the end of conference, my back spasmed and seized up, and I could not physically go on – there was some good that came from the experience. Firstly, it helped me to see where I had some energy leaks in my own boundaries, and where I was overly taking responsibility for others.

I was also gorgeously supported by three of my biz besties. They literally swooped in and took over facilitating the day. Whilst they were doing a spectacular job, I was in my hotel room completely panicked that they needed to jump in and help out. I didn’t feel worthy of being supported by these friends, even though we had supported each other through a lot of different experiences.

It also helped me to see that I needed to change up the way that I facilitated the day. Relying on myself to carry the full load after facilitating the previous three days of conference was a risk. This horrible thing happening allowed me to see that I hadn’t assessed that risk adequately, and planned for it.

And finally, it helped me to see just how loved and supported I am by my community. The people who were still around in the afternoon wrote me gorgeous messages on napkins, that I couldn’t even read for the first month after conference, because it was too emotional. That also shows how much resistance and discomfort I have with receiving kind words, right?

By looking for the good, you find it.

Other examples for me include having a giant fight explode inside the Heart-Centred group a couple of years ago. It was at that time that I realised we needed tighter boundaries. Plus, even though I had an Inclusion Advisory Board for the group and my business, it highlighted that I wasn’t tapping into their expertise enough.

This isn’t about bypassing the experience

Importantly, I’m not saying that we just bypass these bad experiences. When horrible things happen, the impact is real. This is not about saying that “Everything happens for a reason” or “You manifested this negative experience” – absolutely not. It is not your fault if someone trolls you online. Not your fault at all. You did not invite that ‘with your energy’. That person is mean and you don’t deserve it. No further conversation needs to be entered into about that.

Instead, once you’ve processed the experience, gained perspective, and leant into support, there can be power that comes from asking if any good has also come from the experience. Which is very different. If we bypass the hard part and just pretend it’s no big deal, it can result in a bunch of unprocessed emotions and experiences being stuffed down, and coming out in other ways in our body and experiences. So let’s not buy into the whole spiritual bypassing stuff – that’s not cool.

4. Take the day off

Yep, you have permission to take the day off. Just check out. You’re allowed to take the day off when bad stuff happens. Whatever you need to do in order to shut it down, you are allowed to do that too. If that means shutting down comments, blocking a bunch of trolls, locking your profile for the day… do it. Go and take the day off.

We’ll all be here when you’re ready to come back. Your business will still be there when you come back. I think in this day and age, especially with online business, people can be very demanding of an immediate response, apology and solution. But that’s actually not helpful. Because if people want you to really learn from this and understand why something was problematic, you can’t do that in five minutes.

It is a valid and legitimate response, to pop a note and thank the people who brought it to your attention, and let them know you’re stepping away to do the work and gain further understanding. Let them know you’ll address it in the coming few days, and then give yourself the time and space to do that work. 99% of the terrible apologies, that are poorly handled, and generally make things worse, are the ones that are rushed out. Why? Because there was no change. They just said what they thought would stop complaints, rather than acknowledging their shortfalls with depth.

I don’t care what the horrible thing is – you can take the day off, give yourself time to process. Whether you’ve done something horrible, or it’s been done to you.

If it was you, you’ll be able to fix it in a more meaningful way. If it was done to you, you’ll be able to get perspective and plan how you’re going to deal with it effectively.