Do you find social media is a little more challenging for you because you identify as being introverted, shy, or not having that raging out-there personality that seems to get the most traction online? Have you decided that because of who you are, social media isn’t necessarily the right platform for you? That social media isn’t made for shy people?
If any of that resonates for you, I want you to pay attention to this week’s episode, because in it, I’m going to share with you how to be more magnetic on social media – even if you’re shy, introverted, or feel like social media is made for all the loud people and the quiet people don’t get a turn.
Whatever is coming up for you, I want you to pay attention to this episode because I think it’s going to be really powerful.
Here for the links referenced in the show notes?
$0 Facebook Marketing Plan freebie: tashcorbin.com/zero
Core Messaging freebie: tashcorbin.com/coremessage
Let’s dive in!
Here are my top tips on how anyone (even shy people!) can be more magnetic on social media…
1. Remember that social media was built by introverts for introverts
If you are someone who feels like social media isn’t for you, I just want you to first and foremost remember that the internet was made for you.
If you think about the options you had available 30 years ago to get in front of 10,000 people with your message… that was FAR more confronting than it is today.
The internet has created this opportunity where you can write a beautiful article, share it online, and have tens of thousands of people read that article without having to interact with you as a human being.
If we think about what the true definition of introversion is, it’s not about being shy or being an exhibitionist, because you can have an exhibitionist introvert. It’s not about whether you like hanging out with people or not.
It’s actually where you get your energy from.
Extroverts are energised by being in the presence of other people. Introverts are energised by solo time.
If you think about it that way, being able to run your business from home without ever having to go into an office of twenty other people is actually a benefit that we would argue is more beneficial for introverts than it necessarily is for extroverts.
I just wanted to touch on that one first and foremost, because a lot of the time when people give me their reasons why they are not cut out for social media, it’s not because of social media… it’s because they’re trying to use social media like an extroverted person (ie. being on there 24/7 and interacting with other human beings all of the time). And that doesn’t necessarily suit them.
But the internet was built by introverts, and it’s a powerful tool for introverts to be able to create the outcomes that they want in their business without necessarily having to do it the old-fashioned way of actually having real-life interactions with every single person that they want to know about their business.
2. Remember that you are in control
You are in control of:
- How much time you spend on social media
- How you show up on social media
- Whether you share your kids
- What you share about your personal life
- Whether you share your face (I’d rather you share your face but you don’t necessarily have to)
- Whether you share from your real name or a pseudonym
You are actually in control of a lot of different things.
For a lot of people, the reason why they feel like social media is not for them or they’re not cut out for social media is because they’re trying to use social media by following someone else’s rules, boundaries or guidelines.
But you are in control of everything you share. You are in control of how much time you give. You are in control of whether or not you answer people’s questions. You’re in control of the interactions that you have with others. You’re in control of whether you engage with people who disagree with you, or you just delete and block them.
You are in control of all of that!
Oftentimes, that can create this aha moment that you need to make different choices about the way you engage and interact on social media.
I do also want to acknowledge that you are NOT in control of people DM-spamming you. You’re not in control of bots. You’re not in control of your audience or of a lot of the things that happen on social media.
But you are absolutely in control of how you deal with them and how you approach them.
Every morning, I wake up and delete all the spam bot messages that I received on my Facebook page (because at the moment Meta is really struggling with bot accounts pretending to be Meta).
I don’t even read them. And I do that because I know that if there’s something askew going on with my Facebook page, I won’t hear about it in a Messenger chat to my page. I will hear about it through the notifications on my profile, and I’ll also hear about it in an email that matches the notifications on my profile.
Even if I get an email from Facebook (which is very rare) saying there’s an issue with my account or my page, I don’t actually read that email in-depth. I just go straight over to my account Facebook on my app and look at my notifications.
If there are no notifications there that match what’s in the email, then it’s not a thing.
I’m in control though.
I have a copy-paste reply that I send to anyone who spams me via DM.
It just asserts that that’s not a consent-based way of operating. I don’t engage in DMs with people who don’t have my consent to DM me. If they would like to engage in my DMs with me, then I suggest that in future they ensure they have informed consent.
(That’s in response to people saying, “Oh hey babe. You’ve got a cool business, want to be friends?”. I’m not talking about people asking follow-up questions to podcast episodes or asking about what’s going on in the group.)
That’s related to my business, and those people don’t send me vague messages that pretend to be interested in who I am.
I’m in control, I get to choose how I respond to that.
I also get to choose the time that I give to my socials. I don’t give a lot of time to social media and a lot of people are surprised by that. But I really don’t.
I use it personally two or three times a day just to check in on friends or Messenger threads that I’m in with a few friendship and family groups. But honestly, my business-related time on social media is under 25-30 minutes a day, four days a week. It’s not a lot.
I’m in control of how much time I’m giving to social media.
I would argue as an extrovert and an exhibitionist myself, I could easily give six hours a day to social media and not resent it or regret it. But I also know that’s not the most effective use of my time. And I am very mindful of the time that I give to my business.
What lights me up and strengthens me is being in teacher mode. So regardless of whether someone is there listening live or not, one of the most powerful spaces I can be in is doing Facebook Lives where I’m teaching something.
What strengthens me is the feeling of being able to contribute to a conversation that’s making a difference. What strengthens me is getting to know individuals deeply.
Since I know those things about myself, I’ve built a social strategy that allows me the opportunity to do those things as much as possible.
A lot of people come to me and say that something that makes them excited about social media is when people reply.
But that’s something you’re NOT in control of.
You’re not in control of how many people reply. You’re not in control of how many people are there live. You are not in control of how much engagement you get on social media.
What you’re in control of is how consistent your content is and what mode you’re in when you’re showing up on socials.
By focusing on what you have control over and showing up in that way more fully, you naturally become more magnetic and get more engagement.
It might take time for that to snowball up and to create that momentum. But the more that you’re showing up in your zone of genius – the more that you’re showing up in a way that really strengthens you and lights you up – the more magnetic you become.
That creates beautiful synchronicity between you showing up in your zone of genius and your audience showing up and engaging.
3. Stop blaming social media
You need to stop blaming the algorithms, you need to stop blaming Zuckerberg, and you need to stop blaming all the people who have control over Facebook and Instagram and all the other social channels.
Instead, you need to focus on your strategy.
Stop blaming social media for all of your problems, and start focusing on your strategy on social media.
If you don’t like social media that much, if you’re that angry at the algorithm, then don’t use it. Don’t use social media.
But don’t sit on social media complaining about social media.
That’s one of the worst things that you can do when it comes to creating magnetism as a business owner on socials.
Either love and adore your social channels and your social strategy, or don’t. But if you don’t love it, don’t do it.
It’s as simple as that.
I know that 80% of the work is done in 20% of the time. My 20-25 minutes each day on socials is all I need to be able to nail the strategies that I have selected for my social strategy.
4. Know yourself
Know what lights you up and strengthens you.
The worst thing that you could do is convince yourself that you must be on social media even though you hate it, and then begrudgingly use social media every single day and absolutely detest your strategy. You’ll get no results from it anyway, so then you’ll just hate it and blame it and begrudge it even more.
That’s just setting yourself up for misery. Why would you do that?
Instead, make a decision: Are you on social media or not? Are you going to use it or not?
If you are on social media, how can you set yourself up to know who you are and what lights you up, and show up in a way where you’re in control of your strategy and not blaming the algorithm?
Stop blaming social media for all of the problems that you’re experiencing, and instead, focus on what you can control.
I know it’s quite controversial to say that but the problem is not the algorithm, it’s you.
The more that you find ways to blame the algorithm and social media for all of your problems and challenges, the longer you’ll stay stuck, and the longer you’ll continue to see really low engagement because you’re not magnetic when you’re showing up in winge mode.
You’re not magnetic when you’re showing up in I-hate-this mode. You’re not magnetic when you’re showing up in I-begrudge-having-to-do-this-mode.
Your audience can feel that energy. And we know that you don’t want to be there. So don’t be there! Or find a way to create a strategy that lights you up.
Don’t sit in the middle.
5. Love yourself sick
That is something that for a lot of us is really difficult.
Especially in the early days of social media, people who shared stuff that they liked about themselves and who took selfies were considered to be narcissists. They were considered to be self-involved and self-obsessed. But actually, that’s the pathway to being more magnetic on socials and to being more magnetic in life… is actually to love yourself.
If you’ve got a bunch of blocks coming up about loving yourself, then you need to tenaciously find and clear those blocks out of the way.
It’s impossible for us to love you if you don’t love you.
You need to love yourself sick. Find ways to appreciate yourself. Find ways to talk yourself up and adore yourself.
It sounds wild to say it out loud, and it probably sounds wild to hear it, but it is your job. That’s part of your job as a human being on this journey of life.
Find ways to love yourself.
When I say love yourself, I mean looooooove yourself. Love how you sound, love how you speak, love your own work, love the side of your face, love the videos you’ve created, love the brand that you’re building, love the people you get to hang out with, love the way that you’ve created this amazing environment in which you get to thrive, and love who you are inside and out.
Love every single facet of yourself.
Because the more you love yourself, the more magnetic you become. Love your introverted self, love how shy you are, love exactly who you are and what has led you to this journey of being this very person reading this very podcast episode.
Which brings me to my final social media tip for shy people…
6. Be consistently present so that you can build trust and growth
All other five tips on being magnetic on social media are about you. They’re about how you are showing up, what lights you up, loving yourself, etc.
When we come to how you show up on social media and create that magnetism, one of the most important things you can be is consistent.
That consistency doesn’t mean that you need to be on social media every single day.
It means that your presence needs to be there every single day.
Scheduling up a post every day on your primary social platform is a fundamental foundational way of building a social media presence.
And yet, how many people still resist it? Showing up every day is too much for them.
But just having one post on your primary platform every day is so powerful.
It builds reliability, trust, consistency, momentum, and engagement, and it gives you feedback on what people find engaging and what people don’t find engaging.
It also gives you practice in finding your voice and sharing what makes you and your services unique in the world. And it creates space and opportunity for you to promote more consistently.
All of those things make anyone (even shy people) more magnetic on social media.
The more I can trust you, reliably predict your behaviour, see you and get to know you, the more magnetic you are to me, the more I want to know more and the more I want to dive beneath the surface.
This is your opportunity to create a presence and momentum. Be consistent.
That might mean that you are on social media physically four days a week like I am, but you’ve got content scheduled up for most days. That’s how you might do it.
Or it might be that you create all of your content in advance, but someone else schedules it for you, because that distribution piece can often get lost and someone else putting it onto social media for you can be important.
The more consistent you are on social media, the more people want to know more. They want to dive deeper.
Creating that consistency is my big last tip on how to be more magnetic on socials… EVEN for my shy people on social media.
One of the big things that you might struggle with when it comes to posting and sharing on social media is what you should say and how you can actually find people.
I’ve got two great free resources for you!
The first is my $0 Facebook Marketing Plan. It is a way for you to be able to create organic, consistent growth on social media without spending any money. A lot of it applies to Instagram as well, but it’s mostly focused on Facebook.
Grab my $0 Facebook Marketing Plan for free here: tashcorbin.com/zero
The second one is my Core Messaging freebie. That is to help you know how to express what it is that you’re doing and what you’re sharing with the world in a way that resonates with your audience.
Grab my Core Messaging freebie here: tashcorbin.com/coremessage
I hope you’ve enjoyed these social media tips for shy people and introverts to make you more MAGNETIC!
Until next time, I cannot WAIT to see you SHINE.